Sunday, November 27, 2011

NYC - In retrospect

A week ago today we were driving into NYC, fighting the traffic and being told off by the ever-so-welcoming creatures that call themselves New Yorkers. I believe one of them referred to us as "fucking tourists." I humbly beg to differ as I was a New York resident for close to a collective 6 years before I ran screaming from that concrete jungle back in 2006. For a brief moment I toyed with the idea of moving back. Had I done so I would have resided in the heart of the Greek area of Astoria, Queens which, out of most places in Queens, I'd have to say is one of my favorites. The culture is rich and the cafe nightlife is phenomenal. Unfortunately the cost of that would have been too high, involving a loss of freedom that I had fought so hard to regain when I left the first time. I'm of the mindset that once a relationship has ended, it must remain ended. Going back is only an enactment of the cliched definition of insanity. My insanity takes on many forms on its own, I try to avoid the ones that I am able to... thank you very much.

I digress... A week ago we were arriving in NYC to perform for the Court of Lazarus. It was a nerve wracking sort of homecoming for me. Would I be received well? (Sort of.) Would people like us? (Seemed to). What sort of trouble would we run into? (A lot). Would we bomb? (Sort of.) Would we be whole enough in ourselves to walk away with our heads high and live to try another day? (You bet your fucking ass.) In truth we had a good time. It was wonderful to see Naamah and Nefarious again. It was amazing to meet Thomas and his girl and our other fan Tanya. It was even more amazing to see Chris, the former keyboardist from Uranium 235 who, essentially, got me started in all of this in the first place. Words can't really even describe the feeling of seeing him again and knowing that our roles were now reversed and knowing that it was he who felt proud of me this time around. It was like I had finally closed the chapter on a pain that had been devouring me for years. It's something I don't know that anyone would ever understand.

The show had a lot of glitches. I mean a LOT. There were more than I can begin to count. I couldn't hear myself or the backing tracks. The board wasn't working at first. Shaun's headphones weren't picking up the tracks which left him unable to find the "one" in the count. It was very frustrating for us both. Galen, who joined us for the weekend and to be on the stage for the night did very well for someone who had just picked up the bass a week prior. In all we maintained our composure, we played through and we made the best of it. We hoped that people appreciated the effort and looked upon us with kindness and understanding. What we do isn't easy and we knew this going in a year ago. Last week was the climax in a wave of issues that had been building for some time and I think now we can come back to the drawing board with the wisdom to correct the problem and move forward.

Two weeks from now we perform our final show of 2011, almost a year to the day from when we started working together as an actual band. Almost 4 years to the day that Shaun and I met to discuss working together at all. The importance of this isn't lost on me. I want to say thank you to Rebel Sound Records for inviting us to perform at Wasteland on the 9th of December. I can't think of a better venue to cap off what has been a tumultuous year both personally and professionally. I hope to see everyone there that can make it.
Until next time.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

microscope + dae's brain = scary.

I started trying to write this shit yesterday but my computer decided to reboot itself automatically with those pesky microsoft updates. Yet another of many, many reasons why I prefer a Mac over PC. Yet I still use this wretched machine because it's easier and cheaper to fix than the G4 tower sitting in our living room corner under the papasan chair.

Anyway, Shaun's been doing a great job maintaining contact with all of you in the last several weeks. Unfortunately I'd sort of taken on the role of the student at the back of the class feigning my attention as I stared out the window in deep reflection over what the past 12 years has brought in the scheme of Era Nocturna's progress. It hasn't been easy running a band on my own. In some ways I've felt like the single parent trying to raise her kid without any help for most of the project's history. I've watched with mixed emotions as the project gained attention and then the attention simply stopped. With that, I too stopped. I'm no longer the sort of person who is willing to speak if no one is listening or if I have nothing meaningful to share. I used to be like that, a broadcaster that would simply talk to the walls if that was what was there for me to talk to, but I became uncomfortable with that. What person wants to listen to incessant rambling that has no value? I don't and I'm sure others didn't want to either. So, I did as I was wordlessly told and I shut my mouth, I stopped typing, and I went on to quietly form the band that you have before you now.

Truth be told I had no expectations that this would succeed on any level. I've never been one to finish what I start because the moment something gets too hard I don't want to play anymore. I tend to take my ball and go home. Our initial member, our former bassist, ultimately was the first to plant the idea into my head that it'd be good to try this out. That's pretty much where her importance in the band's history ends and if she did one good thing for me, that was pretty much it. Do I sound bitter? Maybe just a little for some of the other unrelated things that happened between us but that's not your business. With Era Nocturna I knew I essentially had to shit or get off the pot. This project had been on a road to nowhere from the day it had begun. I was making music and releasing it but there was no direction. Bringing Shaun in the mix changed the game forever and that was really the best thing I could've done for us all because he's a force of nature when it comes to getting shit done and, truth be said, he scares me at times. I'm not afraid OF him, just of disappointing him. He is an honorable person who will do what he says he's going to do. Growing up without that influence in my life made me a slacker with absolutely no follow through and I didn't give a fuck if I disappointed people so long as I was comfortable. But that changed when this band got together. I was far outside of my comfort zone and it wasn't about me anymore. If I said we were going to perform, then, damn it, we were going to have to perform. At first I hated it, I won't lie. I fucking struggled right from the start. I was even ready to bail on the whole thing. Eventually I began to like it and I stopped fighting it. This, the band, became a refuge and I began to enjoy the company of my bandmates instead of finding my obligation to them annoying. Simply, I stopped being a spoiled brat.

My stage fright had a lot to do with why I wouldn't step up to the plate before. Want to know a secret? I think I'm a shitty singer. I really do. Should I even admit that openly to ANYONE outside the band? No. Sharks smell blood in the water and almost every working musician I've ever known is a shark. They're merciless and would probably shoot their own best friend for a chance at the big time so if they see a weakling out there in their pool, they're going to attack. I learned some hard lessons in the late 90s thanks to a band of musicians fronted by one of such people. He was a snake and a shark. (Maybe that makes him a shake?) It shaped a lot of how I feel about music and the people who make it. Thankfully I've met SOME nice musicians and my enmity toward them is calming itself after 10 years of hatred and avoidance. We can thank Shaun, Dorian, Ereka, and Joanna for that.

What I have going for me is that we're not a regurgitation of every other act out there in this scene. I made this music sound like what I wanted it to sound like regardless of whether anyone liked it or not. I wasn't making it for any of you out there. Just for me. I needed to bleed, somehow. So there's that and the fact that my members are extremely talented musicians who would blow a lot of our competition out of the water if given the chance. That is why I hired them and why I have nothing but the utmost confidence in our combined abilities. At this point I don't care what I sound like, just knowing that I'm doing my best is enough for me.

Next week will be our first show ever. It is ultimately a test to see how well we translate to the stage outside the controlled environment of the rehearsal space. We don't get any do-overs this time. If the timing is off, it's off and we need to recover. If I forget the words, too fucking bad, I get to make something up. If ANYTHING goes wrong, then it goes wrong and we (and you) will just have to live with it. I keep this thought going in my head, "No one cares. Likely, no one will know. And if they think they can do better then they're welcome to submit an application to join the band as a producer and make good on that." Christ, I treat everything like it's a battle in some great war. I don't take prisoners and I don't lose. I just don't give a fuck and that's how I win in the end. Is this a good thing? Maybe. We'll see.

A few days ago I wrote a complaint on my personal blog about how our fans are apathetic and unsupportive. The band has nothing to do with that. It's my own feeling on the matter. After thinking about that I think it's somewhat unfair of me to say such a thing because it's my own fault that people aren't more active in our support because *I'm* not active and I have done nothing but give out the vibe that I don't care. So if I don't, why should any of you? Seems fair to me. So from now on I'll make a better effort to be more active on the blog and elsewhere. Regardless of whether any of you interact with us, I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing. One thing of that other blog I wrote remains true. I said that I'm doing this for myself, no one else. It's just the way it works with me. I don't aim to please people because I've found that if I try to do that, it translates to desperation and I have little to no respect for desperate people. However, just because that is the case, it doesn't mean that I can't be less of a bitch about it and show more interest in what happens. So that's that.

Feel free to come say hi to me and the rest of the band at the show. My drink is a rufie-free malibu and cranberry if you're buying. Pictures will be encouraged but just don't expect me to smile. ;) See you all later.

- Dae

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Summer update

Mission control
Nocturnaland
Sunday, June 5 2011
21:43

Evolution. This is the word being spoken a lot between myself and Dae lately. As we continue plotting our release into the world this summer after more than a decade, as well as the next steps for Era now and in the future, it's about movement, progression, travel, evolution. After months behind the scenes with a scattering of vague updates and contact with the outside world, we are finally coming forth from self-imposed seclusion, with news and announcements. We realize and have been commenting for quite some time about how we need to get back to the public "face" of Era Nocturna, both here and across the internet. While we've kept a strong presence over the years, we have done so at varying levels of consistency. As mentioned in an earlier post, that is going to change. We are now ready to do so. Apologies for the lack of contact and information-sharing. Unfortunately every artist and group must, from time to time, "disappear" and then re-emerge, stronger, more focused, perhaps re-invented on some level. This is the case here. And while it has been quite some time since we have pushed our presence, the work we've been doing behind the scenes has been worth it.

Our first announcement here is also the biggest, not only for the present, but also within the band's entire history. It's not an understatement to say this is a milestone in the world of Era Nocturna. After 12 years of existence, we finally transform from a "project", disembodied, releasing albums and staying largely in the shadows, to flesh-and-blood warriors, stepping on the stage in a wash of blood and ephemera, prepared to converge as the Viking death squads closing in on Lindisfarne. Perhaps not...however, our commitment to making this show, and subsequent shows worth the wait of more than a decade is...extreme. It's something that's as (perhaps more) anticipated for us as for our fans, and those who have stood in the shadows waiting. We do not plan to disappoint. Info for the show is as follows:

Friday, July 8th
9:00 p.m.
Decadence/Club Gallery
150 Point St
Providence, RI
401-751-7166

Rather than go into detail, I will let the night speak for itself. The event itself, while marking our first show, is also important as it is a benefit for our dear friend Carlos, who finds himself dealing with some difficult health issues without the benefit of health insurance. We are very happy to be helping Carlos out by participating in this event. Come support a great guy, while participating in Era Nocturna history at the same time. Well worth it all around.

In other band news, we will be featured in upcoming issues of Carpe Nocturne magazine starting next issue. Carpe Nocturne, the self-described "voice of the New Dark Culture" will be running a series with us. Written by members of the band, it will chronicle our struggles, triumphs, and overall journey. Dae will be writing the first installment, which, from what I've seen, looks interesting. Stay tuned for updates on this.

We have finally decided to go through with our threat made in an earlier post of releasing video segments with the band. This will be a random assortment of things, from more formal interviews to rantings about the snow beasts of wintery Massachusetts. If nothing else, it will prove extremely entertaining! These will only be available on our exclusive youtube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/eranocturnaofficial

There is more news on the horizon, but as the mysterious goth vamps we are, we must be enigmatic about this for now. I will say that there will be more exciting news shortly. Be sure to check back.

For now, I will sign off from the control room. Hope to see you all at the shows! Stay evil...

~ Shaun

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Come inside.

"I know why you're scared to stay with me... they crucify me at every turn and I wanted to fight but I haven't the might. So I'll dream of you hoping for the day..."

I compiled while I dreamed. Thinking perhaps... no... not the last but a turning point. Something to close the door.

"Are you tired of speaking for the dead? I never knew this evil had a name, in here, broken and bruised."

It was once only myself in this place. Occasionally a door would open, the light would pour in, my eyes would burn and I would scream. The door would close again and it was just me. Alone.

"From these lungs I scream yet I am silent still and I have everything but a real life. And what I thought I'd be is just a memory of a wish I'd made when I was still in hell."

But the steps returned. The first an old friend partially responsible for the last time I opened my mouth to the anonymous who could not reply. The second... we stood in the cold chill of October together smoking... dreaming... hoping.

"But is she here? Is she awake?"

Each week we push forward. Each of them dragging a little more from me. Coaxing me from the dark. The light hurts but it is healing.

"Oh yes, I'm fine. I'm making it up as I go along. And this, is it, I'm playing along the building blocks at my feet are just toys for fun."

Memories of childhood. Sometimes I'm never sure if they're real or just something I dreamed. Sometimes I relive these in the space of a second when I stand before them, tearing open wounds and bleeding through my mouth.

"When will you blame yourself for what you are and what's become of you?"

Each one closer... bringing the evolution closer. I ask, "Are we there yet?" Shaun tells me, "No, we're not." Bear watches from her stool, her eyes shifting around the room. Absorbing.
Dorian and Kev stand ready. They're bouncing in anticipation... and impatience.

"It was then that I saw that it was a dream. The only soul in that place was me alone. I died alone."

....


"I can curse the sun but I'll always need its light."

Still compiling. Reaching through the past. Finding the moment that I need to push through. There it is. It hurts to remember today.

"There's no difference between you and I. Just the hope that you make it right."

Sometimes it kills you just as much as heals you. But then when you are unmade by one, you can be reformed by another. Irony? Perhaps?

"Release me from this shattered shell, it's time to go I know it well..."

We play "Silence" and the drums kick through my chest and knock me back into the present. It's hard to say how long I was gone.

"But then that's, the lesson learned."

I'm forgetting.

"Take that pill to keep me awake. I guess these things just happen this way."

Have you figured it out?

Sunday, January 30, 2011

The Sunday round-up

Hey all. While the title of this entry sounds like a sports show run-down, it's more like an update on all things Nocturna :) Things are moving along brilliantly here. We've been a bit "off the grid" as far as updating websites and such lately, mainly because we've been working our cute little asses off on the more core elements of the band, which is to say the music! Getting this phase of Era Nocturna going has been both an interesting and challenging experience. Expanding from one member to 5 (yes, that's right. More on that in a second...) takes some doing, to say the least. The synthesis of live instruments with the sequenced elements of the music has required patience and motivation on all of our parts. But the results, even at this stage of the game, have been overwhelmingly positive. Our overriding goal in all of this from the begining of the new members joining has been to bring Era Nocturna to you in a way that leaves you exhilerated, astonished, and wanting more. Thinking about our last rehearsal, I'd say we're already well on our way to accomplishing exactly that. After a decade of anticipation by fans, this will finally go from an album-only project to a live experience. And when I say experience, that's exactly what I mean. While there are bands out there whose live shows consist of them onstage in jeans and t-shirts running through their songs more or less as they appear on their records, and while some bands who do that do it well, and I appreciate that- Pelican comes to mind; I saw them in 2008 and it was one of the best shows I'v ever seen- however we agreed from the begining we wanted to do something vastly different. We believe firmly-as do fans and others- that this music demands a certain visual representation equal to the power of the music. The execution of this equals shows that are EVENTS. Costumes, props, lights...the ideas we are making a reality as we speak, while I can't get into specifics, believe me when I say it will be something not to be missed. I know I speak for all of us when I say we are vibrating in excitement to unleash this on an unsuspecting public...
Well enough of that. Onto things I CAN actually get into specifics about. As we've been saying over and over again here and in other places on the interweb, there's a LOT going on right now. Being that we're still in the begining of this journey, it's sort of like an iceberg at this point. All you're seeing, through our blog posts, youtube, facebook, etc, is the very tip. Underneath there's a flurry of activity which you haven't seen yet. What does this mean? Several things. Right now we are working hard to overhaul and update our many websites, and tie them into a network of all things Era Nocturna, rather than scattered entities. Look for more info as this comes closer to completion, including urls and links. But that's just one thing. There's so much more. Right now we are coordinating our first photo shoot. Sounds relatively standard right? Wrong. I won't tell you what it will look like yet, but once it's done the end result will be surprising and exciting, and will give insight into who we are...We have our first interview scheduled for the coming month, as well as releasing clips of our rehearsals to give you a taste of what you can expect later in the year. In addition, we soon be releasing the first of regular installments of video messages from the band. These are going to be a kind of free-for-all, a way for us to connect with everyone. Expect video introductions to all of the new members, off-the-cuff conversations, responses to fan messages, and general chaos haha. It'll be fun, trust us. You will only be able to find these on our exclusive Youtube channel, so come check it out and subscribe! In addition to this and other things we're working on, we've also started to talk about and write for the next album, which we plan on releasing in late 2012. Right now we've written only a handful of basic song ideas, and already it's sounding good. It's a bit different than the previous albums, in a very good way. And that brings us to the last bit of business, which I mentioned in the begining...
The first expansion in the next phase of Era Nocturna included myself on drums and Bear Czar on bass. This recent final expansion included a crucial element in our sound, guitar! So we are happy to welcome Dorian James and Kevin Roshandel to the EN family. Dorian brings a swirling, spacious, ethereal sound to the band, interweaving sonic complexities throughout the songs with his guitar. Kevin brings an essential bottom-end and edge to our sound which, while not present before, has become not only an exciting element to the band, but a necessary one. It's one of those "how did we do without this for so long?" situations. Kevin and Dorian are great guys, and their contributions are inestimable. This brings the member count to 5, and the sound of the band to its completion. Now the 5 of us begin the push to the stage... Well...I guess I had more to say than I thought haha. I only intended a quick update. But in light of all of the things we have going on right now, and the things that will be happening in the very near future, it's not really surprising. We will definitely be updating on a regular basis, here, as well as on our facebook and myspace pages, so keep checking back. Be well. Peace ~ Shaun

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Rehearsal #2 Coming Up

I spent the evening writing down the lyrics for the songs that I'll be singing on tomorrow. Last week I missed so many of my cues because I'm not used to hearing the music the way it is now. It's amazing how much can change with the addition of people. Lola is still providing the basis for the tracks since synths are essentially the flesh and blood of the music. It's odd to think that a bunch of plastic and mental soldered together has made this all what it is for me now. But that's technology for you.

I don't feel that I ever really embraced technology. I wasn't one of those people who lived for gadgets until recently but even then I find myself frustrated by it.

A lot has been changing with the music now and I'm loving the addition of people to this. It's a lot less... lonely. There is and will always be that ever-present sense of isolation that I've never quite been able to get rid of. I can be in the most crowded places and still feel like I don't belong, half the time I don't, but this makes it easier. Part of the reason I could never bring myself to perform in the past was because I didn't want to stand on a stage alone with Lola playing the shit off the sequencer and looking out over the audience.... alone. In a way I still will be, even with Shaun and Bear and whoever else comes along up there with me. It happens that way when you're singing about the sort of nonsense I do. A part of you, the everyday part I think, splits away while the wounded parts stay behind to show themselves to whomever is watching. "See? Look at me. It's here. Right...fucking...here. She may look strong but look at me. Blood. Scars. Bandages. It's all here."

I get to wondering who put those wounds there. Family? Past friends? Current friends? Strangers? Or maybe it was myself. Taking it all too seriously. Pisceans are truly like fish. Have you ever caught a live fish? They feel so fragile when they struggle in your hand suffocating on the air that you yourself need in order to survive. Sometimes I feel like that fish... suffocating. Flailing within the grasp of whoever or whatever has me at that moment. Gasping for something that isn't air and isn't water. But something. Something that I don't know that I'll ever be able to name. Maybe this journey with the music will help me find that thing. Whether it's expression or simply freedom. I don't know.

It's interesting to think about though.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Welcome!

Well, well what do we have here? It is a blog...

First official practice last night was a hit. Shaun caused us all to nearly go deaf with the pounding on the drums but it was a sure sign of things to come. You are all going to be very pleased.

Bear now needs a tech because she's running on two guitars. Any interested parties are welcome to apply. Payment will be in hugs and alcohol if you're over 21.

I will now turn the reigns over to Shaun.

Welcome one and all... the ride begins now.